National Register of Historic Foxes: President Andrew Jackson

This week, in honor of the most patriotic of holidays, we present the first entry in the National Register of Historic Foxes (we mean, of course, National Compliment Your Mirror Day. Ha, gotcha! Though really, check out National Compliment Your Mirror Day - our new fave holiday for sure).

President Jackson's record is regarded as complex by modern historians, and we urge you to pick up Jon Meacham's excellent recent biography, but this sure ain't the forum in which to get into it. (If you arrived here while frantically searching online for a term paper for your history class, however, stay, pour yourself a cocktail and pull up a velvet chaise.) We will only say that Jackson's legendary temper, touching devotion to his wife/alleged bigamy, tendency to duel at dawn, general crotchetiness and getoffmylawndom, and most of all that silvery mane render him an American Lion among foxes.

We could make a joke about wood and his nickname being "Old Hickory," but we're too classy for that. This week. Now go buy your mirror a drink. Happy Fourth of July!

Keith Olbermann: MSNBC's Screamer in Chief

Who hasn't seen the now infamous Saturday Night Live skit of Keith Olbermann (played by "Gigli" star Ben Affleck)? It paints a pretty accurate picture of today's SFOTD: a semi-deranged screaming man with a bone to pick with anyone and everyone that comes onto his radar. Nothing gets us more hot-and-bothered than a silver fox with a TeeVee show...and an American flag. Need a hand with that flag, Keith?

Pete Carroll, Head Coach of the USC Trojans Football Team

Okay, I'm ending this week on a high note by showing off my all-time favorite Silver Fox - Pete Carroll. I first laid my eyes on this man made by the Gods at the age of 19 and haven't been able to take them off since. Whether he is leading the charge on the West Coast or producing his own version of the Iliad with me as his virgin maid, I'll always be up to ride his Trojan horse.

Hot for Teacher: Secretary of Education Arne Duncan

Even as a young cub, we were never one to crush on teachers – Sister Concepta, she of the luxuriant knuckle hair and dead aim with a blackboard duster, quite literally knocked that out of us. However, we’d make an exception for the current Education Secretary, who – in a bit of synergy for SFOTD sports writer FoxySpice – has the honor of “Most Random Background Of Any Current Cabinet Member,” having formerly played professional basketball in Australia. We’re very glad he came back stateside and committed to a career in public servicing, where we can admire him up close and personal - we’d polish his apples any time.

Ira Glass, the Left's better looking Rush Limbaugh

OK, any comparison between Ira and Rush is not at all fair. One is a bloated, pill-popping, black-shirt-with-the-top-THREE-buttons-unbuttoned-wearing ideologue. The other just soothes away life's pains with pleasant stories on NPR. Today's SFOTD features sensual tufts of graying hair, erotic Mad Men-esque glasses, that killer smile, and mmmmm don't even get me started on his extra large...microphone... Are we on the air?

Mario Lemiuex, Owner of the Pittsburgh Penguins

No matter what NHL team you cheer for, you have to shout "Let's Go Pens" when you see NHL legend Mario Lemiuex. He's one of the most talented players to ever touch the ice, and just won the Stanley Cup with the phenomenal talent of little fox cub, Sidney Crosby.

Brigadier General Mark Kimmitt (US Army, retired)

We love us a Silver Fox in uniform. Even more impressively, today’s entry is famous in Washington for being as much of a silver shark as the other genus – as came to light during his confirmation hearing for the plum role of Assistant Secretary of State for Political-Military Affairs last year, when he was spanked by the DoD Inspector General for his fierce management style. We’d still be happy to drop and give him twenty. Okay, being realistic, we could manage maybe ten. Fine… three.

Ted Harbert, Comcast CEO and Chelsea Handler toy

Have those Verizon FiOS ads been dogging Comcast CEO Ted Harbert? Not likely, since the former E! chief has been off canoodling with E!'s Chelsea Lately Handler. While the ads may resemble "Mac vs. PC" commercials (there's no question that the FiOS guy is better looking than the cable guy), Ted has it all over Ivan Seidenberg.

Jose Mourinho, Coach of F.C. Internazionale Milano

It may be that time in the international football community to purchase and trade players, but it's definitely not the time for Inter Milan to consider a new head coach. Sorry Zlatan Ibrahimovic - no more silver fox for you!

Senator John Ensign, R-NV

Breaking: Sen. Ensign admits to affair with a campaign staffer, of all the clichés. I guess the Staff Ass (and really, aren’t they all?) in question couldn’t resist running their hand through that silvery pelt…